Friday, March 13, 2009


For some reason pain is such a deep producer of beauty. I think because it is penetrating. I can feel pain in every beat of my heart. My heart feels so heavy. Like every beat is punching my life down and down and down into the deep spaces of hopelessness. And not having hope is one of the hardest feelings to cope with.

After being punched for a while, if I have not been knocked down completely, I do whatever I can to lighten the beating. I try to release it in any way possible. My way is to create. Anything, anything, that means something. Then maybe the beat will rise me up instead of weigh me down and with that rise, so will hope. And hope is a beautiful feeling.

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