Saturday, April 18, 2009

I didn't need you

You made me need you.

And I did.

But I turned into an avalanche.

The more I needed you the more I collapsed.

And you were caught in it.

And you came tumbling down with me.

And then we were both at the bottom.

Buried, trying to breathe.

And now we are digging our way out.

And it's very hard.

We are so weighted down.

But we will get out.

You will survive.

I will survive.

And hopefully we will make it to the top again.

Maybe not together.

Maybe not even at the same time.

But we will both get there.

Yes, we will.

Thursday, April 2, 2009


There is no peace.
It is not within me.
It is not within you.
It is not within us.
It is not within them.
It has never been.
It will never come.

I want peace.
Peace for me.
Peace for you.
I want it in my bones.
I want it in my veins.
Pumping into me.
I want it in the air.
Breathing into me.
And then I want to breathe it out to you.
I want it for us.
I want it for them.
It does not fit.
It does not function.
It does not cooperate.
It does not know.
It is not right.
It is not satisfied.
It is not calm.
It is not okay.
It has no reason.
It has no fight.
It has no idea.
It has no clue.
It does not know where it is going.
Or if it is going anywhere.
It has no true answers.
There are no answers.
It must wonder aimlessly.
That is the point.
Where do friends meet when they're poor?
When the coffee is money
And the drinks are more.

Where do grandpas give whey they're old?
When their kids are too busy
And the distance is far.

Where do partners embrace when they're torn?
When the church is too righteous
And the public is proud.

Where do winners look when they loose?
When the camera is there
And their fans all stare.

Where do deaf men hear what you say?
When their ears are numb
And their heart is full.

Where do girls play all their games?
When their tricks are dull
And the boys have won.

Where do parents kiss when it rains?
When the kids are gone
And their love is old.


The rest of my speech will come later.

I do not want things to be formal or overdone. I want everything to be true and natural. This is probably my biggest problem. While everyone else is changing who they really are to appear to be something more, I am just who I am. And I know I am making others sounds bad, they are really just bettering themselves. But I want to see people raw. I want to see them with their hair done naturally and their talents without practice. So when I could look better or more appealing, I choose not to because I do not feel that it is truly me. It is ridiculous, but I cannot get out of that mindset.