Numb

It would be nice to ignore my b. The one that takes up 25% of me. Maybe that would include an arm, a leg and a butt cheek. Or maybe an eye, an ear, and my right hand. Or the entire left side of my brain. The part that doesn't stop analyzing. Or the left ventricle of my heart. The part that has a hard time pumping. Then the pain would not be so bad when I scrape my leg or I break my heart. I would not feel it. That part would be numb.

But where would I be without my b. I would not feel like me. I would not feel your touch on my right butt cheek or analyze the way you looked at me. I would not know the joy of being loved and feel the blood pumping into me.

So, even though it hurts. It hurts quite a bit. I choose to recognize my b. I do not want to lose the joy just to put away my pain. I choose to live with my b. No matter what part of me that it may be.